My Brother Joe and I returned to the hotel room in New Columbia, PA. We had had a beer or two during dinner. We may have had a beer or two after, but it’s tough to remember. First, It was 30 years ago, and that was a time when beer wasn’t available in grocery stores and gas stations. Moreover, we were in Central PA where there never was (and still isn’t) enough bars to go around. They seem to be secretly proud of that.
Joe say, “We should see if that bar in the lobby is open.”.
We walk into the lobby bar and find the only customers there are two brothers of Hungarian descent who happen to be our Uncle Joe and Uncle Bill. It was apparent that they were a few drinks ahead.
I said, “I’ll by the first one”.
Brother Joe said, “Hold on – you ain’t paying for shit!”
The four of us had rounds of beers. We had rounds of shots. We had rounds of shots and beers.
Uncle Bill stood up and said, “I’m heading back to my room.”.
Then there were three.
Uncle Joe announced that he had recently had a birthday and that he was seventy.
We had beers. We had shots. We had shots and beers. Lather, rinse, repeat.
The bartender walked over and said to me, “I know you’re getting married tomorrow, but it’s way past closing time. I’m sorry. She handed us a six pack and we headed back to our room.
The three of us walked into the men’s room. We’re all lined up. Brother Joe says, “Man, I’ve had too much”. Uncle Joe says, “What, you young guys having problems?”
Brother Joe and I staggered back to our rooms with Uncle Joe walking steadily behind us and consistently pointing out our inability to hold our liquor.
The next morning Brother Joe and I drag our sorry asses out of bed. We’re heavily hung over and in need of heavy fuel. The Hotel had a restaurant attached to it. It was a Bonanza (It’s still a Bonanza 30 years later). We walk into Bonanza and our family from both sides is in there having breakfast. They all look at us like something the cat dragged in. Uncle Bill and Uncle Joe are sitting in a booth happily launching insults as we walk by, “You young guys feeling a little rough today?” “Happen to have an aspirin?” “A little trouble keeping up?”
Brother Joe and I knew we were outmatched. We averted our eyes and shuffled along.
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